In Thailand, it's unlucky to shave on a Thursday

This my friends, is the truth.  They take this stuff seriously out here.  Not only is it unlucky to shave on a Thursday, women should also never cut hair on a Wednesday.  That would be silly.  With Monday presenting a great opportunity to make your hair cut and, by extension, you charming, why would you cut it on a Wednesday?  These are some of the learnings we continue to acquire.

As Julia wrote, central Bangkok and the Khaosan Road were, in short, huge disappointments.  Kind of like a Torremolinos without the charm or cultural integrity and on a really small scale - Siem Reap takes it to the cleaners and .....well.....more on that later in our next post - let's start at the beginning.

Spending 12 days cycling through 3 South East Asian countries with a new group was always going to be an interesting experience.  Typically there's room for a couple of oddballs and we weren't too sure whether or not those two would be us.  Though we're all from different backgrounds and there's a fairly wide age range (from us to the older members), we've managed to get on well and share some laughs.

My 25 minutes in the gym in Bangkok and a short ride back home from Old Compton Street at 1am on a Boris Bike hardly count as training and Julia had only been there for the Boris Bike bit, so there we were, legs like new born foals' and pristinely un-worn-in asses ready for a relentless pounding over some serious mileage.  Our previous attempt at riding was 5 years ago in the Namibian Desert.....this ended in tears and a furious hatred for pedalling.

However this hatred of pedalling is now replaced by an understanding of HOW to pedal - which is, apparently, a critical element of being a good (and effective) cyclist.

The group on a break at a temple

Day 1 was a drive out to the first hotel and a short warm up of 20 kilometres.  Easy enough you say and you'd be right; nobody crashed and the guides got to know the team.  Our main guide, Nee (Thai) was backed up by Fila (Cambodian - not his real name either......but you'll forgive me not mangling what I am sure is a fine name).  We also had a cohort of bus drivers, mechanics and helpers, including a Mr. Black and his son Nud (pronounced Noot) - thighs like tree trunks and an annoyingly good humour.  He also knew a great spot (and moment) to procure a fine espresso on the morning of the 3rd day.......which was nice, given the varnish that's been masquerading as coffee across Thailand.

Hotels have been 3/4 stars (not 0.75, but 3 or 4) and most importantly clean and cockroach free (so far, touch wood, etc), which has been exceptional.  I really hadn't been looking forward to taking my Security role into the Rentokil Realms.

Speaking of Rentokil, night 1 saw Alex try a handful of crickets before dinner, the perfect appetiser!

Snacks on one of the breaks between legs

Day 2 and bang............what to say but ouch!  77km, 35 odd degrees and heavy rain combined to beat the holy crap out of the two berks I mentioned earlier who hadn't bothered to train for this trip.  Between the burning thighs, burning sun (in the afternoon) and burning ass.....there was a LOT of burning going on and frankly, this correspondent is looking forward to the day when his thighs don't feel like they've been pumped intravenously full of superglue. Nee's insistence on pushing on at an average of 25 km/h wasn't helped by our insistence on not backing down.  Not for us the middle or last packs of riders.  No, your dear travellers, competitive and bloody minded that they are, simply have to push themselves.

A "proudly caked in mud" Julia Saroian

So by the end of Day 2 let's just say we knew what it was to cycle........a long way and in testing conditions.

Quick pit-stop in the hotel overnight and back onto the road for Day 3; a 90km jaunt through searing heat and (frankly vicious) slopes that we wanted to call hills.  Of course now we know they are mere molehills; at the time, they seemed like mountains.

Lunch time pit-stop on Day 3

Where do you even begin?  90km is only about 56 or so miles.  I mean it just doesn't seem that far, until you realise it's only a wee bit shorter than the London - Brighton cycle.  Kind of puts things into perspective.  Julia was nailing Alex in the morning cycle.  She continued on in the afternoon.  Lunch had put a spoke in his wheels and frankly his "I am saving myself for the final push" sounded more like "I've s*d all left in the tank".

A beautiful rubber plantation

But then, as if by magic, a lovely Northern Irish guy named Colin told him to stop pedalling with his toes and to keep his heels down.  Then, like London buses, you've pedalled 180km and the advice starts flooding in!  From how high the saddle should be, to keeping your knees over the pedals at all times to pushing on the pedals not down, but forwards.  All this and more.  Part of me thought "you b*stards for keeping this from me!"  In reality, it's probably incumbent on me to turn up and know how to ride a bicycle.

We often stop at village temples to re-fuel

Anyhow, the net net of all this was the joy of cycling.  To be sure, the thighs still burned and the bum still screamed at every little bump in the road, but wow, my little
chicken legs weren't as weak as all that and I could go quite fast!  The final leg of the day was a joy and it seemed things might be looking up.  Unfortunately whilst all this was going on, Julia and I were also learning that photosensitivity didn't just mean that she would get sunburn easily.  It also meant that ANY sun would be painful - which it was.  By the end of the day the side-effects from her malaria tablets were exceptionally uncomfortable and she was in a fair bit of pain.

Waking up on Day 4 was a pain in general.  Puffy eyes, packing bags again, stumbling around on trembling legs and trying to remember why we signed up for this, we walked to our bikes.  Gone was the euphoria of the previous evening.  Now we had a new dread.  85km but with more slopes than the previous day.  Grrrrrr.  Julia opted for long sleeves to save her photosensitive skin and Alex promised to save her from herself if it looked like her pride was going to stop her from being sensible.

Nee our guide and leader

Today was a day of speed; a day of beginning to enjoy the trip for what it was, a cycling holiday.  With the ice broken amongst most of the group and the conversation steadily flowing, the morning flew past. We stopped briefly at a reservoir before lunch and had a quick dip before jumping back into the saddle and heading to a bird sanctuary to have some lunch and look at some pretty amazing and weird hornbills.

Whiteys in the Water

As midday approached, Julia opted to jump into the bus to avoid the midday sun (very clever, it was roasting) and even put in a sexy stint as the sign holder.  Our buses would drive ahead and one of the helpers would hold a sign up with the direction to take at a junction.  Julia did this with the style and panache one would expect, putting a smile on our faces.  Which was necessary, because on this leg we did some pretty hard cycling, moving along at a ridiculous clip.  About 8 of us in a tight peleton enjoying the feeling of speed and power on the roads.

A beautiful hornbill

Julia rejoined the pack in the afternoon and then for the second last leg we did some pretty unthinkable cycling, averaging about 35km/h over a constant 10km uphill gradient, most of it into the wind.  Everyone in the peleton was beaming from ear to ear until about 9km in, when Alex and Becky slowed up with knee pains.  We'd been suffering for a while and it really hit now.  Praise be though; Julia slowed down and joined us and the 3 of us made a respectable stab at catching the group again, helping each other by taking it in turns to ride up front and be the wind break needed for the other two.

We re-grouped and then made our way to the hotel for what was to be our last night in Thailand.  We had cycled 262km in 3 and a half days and had experienced some amazing sensations.  Next stop, Siem Reap and Angkor Wot in Cambodia.

We pass such happy children along the way

Bangkok..or the Kingdom of Humidity

From the first moment we've stepped of the plane I thought I ran against a wall.
Some things never change..
Julia+ 37 degrees+80% Humidity = not good


After a wonderful night sleep we eased into this crazy place with a trip to the supermarket,Gym and Pool finished of by great Thai food.I learned that day that we are totally spoiled from the authentic Thai cuisine we get offered in London..it pretty much tastes exactly the same.Which is a good thing as i love Thai food.

Sightseeing and Culture was on the list of day two.Early start but obviously not early enough we found ourselves getting squeezed through the very impressive Grand Palace.The pure amount of craftsmenship which created and still keeps this city of gold running is incredible.A kind of Must-see ,the only downside is the sheer amount of tourists and school kids you have to share your experience with..takes the spark of this amazing creation.I personally would have loved to see it at the weekends when it s closed and the monks are practicing their spiritual celebrations.

Straight after we walked over to Wat Pho,the biggest reclining Buddha in the world.Much less crowded and very,very beautiful.

In the evening we managed to get a table on the 61st floor of the Banyantree hotel as recommended from one our friends.Its kind of weird dining so high up but was worth the experience.Good food,great company,brilliant service on top of Bangkok.

What Arun

For our last night we decided to change hotels and move from the business and shopping district close to Koasan Road famous for being the mecca of backpackers.The area looked and felt much more like real Bangkok,or the way i ve imagined it.In the early afternoon we made our way up to the famous Weekend market...

which is the size of my hometown, honestly, we actually saw a man navigating himself with a map through the chaos.This is a place where you can buy anything you want...you name it ..I'm sure you can find it there.
The most exciting bit of this day was the Tuktuk ride back home..these guys are lunatics .Traffic lanes,traffic lights and other signs are clearly only suggestions !!Great fun though..










In the evening we walked to Koasan Road which was not really worth a visit.Full of tourists..english pubs and western food...if that is what you are looking for go for it otherwise stay away.

Went to bed early as the next adventure was about to begin the next morning,cycling Indochina,watch out for our next post.

Lazy Buddhas, Sacred Lawns and Schoolchildren

Today the People's Party of China sent ALL of their schoolchildren to the Imperial Palace....or so it felt.

Last night we went to bed stuffed on lovely Thai food and slept soundly (well Alex did - Julia, not so much) and overslept even more soundly!  So up we (Royal we) popped and husband cooked wife a lovely breakfast to kick-start her motor into functioning with all the energy a tourist about to be subjected to hordes of other tourists needs.

Unfortunately no amount of breakfast shields you from the heat, but such is life and for that you have the SkyTrain which is a joy....well actually the air-conditioning is.....oh and the fact people actually form orderly queues to get on;  how civilised.  Then the boat trip; traversing BKK much more pleasant on the river than in the sea of fumes and stench that are the roads.

When we arrived we realised the mistake of leaving an hour and a half later than we'd planned.  The place was heaving.....like an overturned ant-hill.....school kids everywhere, Savile J in his element - damn you oversleeping!

Those two blokes even brought their own ladder to escape the onslaught of kids

Friends had previously mentioned that for two people that hate crowds, living in central London was a bit silly.  Others predicted that South East Asia was perhaps not for us, but really - does there have to be THAT many people here at once?  Ridiculous!  Maybe those two guys on the ladder were simply following one of Confucius' lesser known teachings, roughly translated as - "Bring stilts, avoid the crowds".

Speaking of teaching, travel broadens the mind (another mindless cliche) and so what did we learn?  We learned that the crop top was BIG in ancient Thailand and that the Wicked Witch of the West bought her Monkey Soldiers from a Thai pet shop......strange what you learn.

Fly my pretties!

(Green Top) You'll nevah guess wha' dat slag just said Gary.....
(Yellow Top)  Whateva'!

Further we learned that even the very smallest lawns in Thailand are not only tended by ridiculously oversized lawnmowers, but they are sacred and one must NOT set foot on them.

I think we can all agree, the "Keep off the Lawn" sign is a trifle unnecessary

Our turfophilia offended by this, we headed off to the lazy Buddha.  You know the bloke, huge golden one, lying down at rest......reclining if you please!  Actually he was (is?) pretty amazing to see - massive feet and we all know what that means......massive shoes (though he would certainly have to leave them outside like the rest of us, less than golden, types).  A fiver each dropped, literally, on making wishes and buying luck (suckers!) we left the monument to wander the grounds, where there was even a real-life Monk making notes, or doing the crossword.....well he was writing something.

At least here there were fewer people, certainly fewer school kids.  Serenity, space and a sense that there wasn't a current of humanity pushing you along helped us enjoy and appreciate this wonderful monument for what it is, something the Imperial Palace didn't do.

Here, boys, we learned that when the missus says you are a lazy b*gger, you can reply that you are "reclining"; good enough for Buddha good enough for me love.  Good luck with that by the way.

Another husband cooked meal and a short nap, before writing this entry by the pool and a night out at Vertigo will wrap up today for us.  Our first sights of the trip and first real exposure to the hordes of Asia.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step

So dear readers, our first few posts have been mainly been about packing up and assorted preparations.  Given the sheer effort in that no wonder we've spent so long dwelling on those odious tasks.  But it's over - with a little help from some friends and of course mum :)  So yes, a journey starts with a single step.

What that little bastard Laozi (the Chinese philosopher responsible for that glib little piece of blindingly-obviousness) didn't tell you was that it ACTUALLY starts with about 5 weeks of tedious and mind-numbingly essential "things to do".  Proving a well known point that philosophy is all well and good, but it has no bearing on real life.

The flight was uneventful - got bumped to Premium (which was nice), Alex caught flies whilst snoring away for 6 hours and Julia watched film after film, thankful that her noise cancelling headphones saved her from the Symphony de Saroian next door.

When we landed we found out in the immigration queue that the couple who had been sat next to us were off to the islands for 12 days, on standby tickets and generally rushing around before going back to work.  Having left all that behind us, looking ahead to the next 8 months of life suddenly hit home.  We're truly out of the rat race now!  Cue our first moment of Schadenfreude; or smug satisfaction to the English who, unlike the Germans, don't quite get enough of a kick out of other people's woes to create a whole word about it.

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On Smiles and Happiness:

Thailand has been up and down on blogs and guides and everyone knows that South East Asia is the land of smiles and people trying to help.  When we grew up (showing my age) we were told of Swiss polishing schools where the rich and famous went to get, well, polished.  I now wish we had SE Asian happiness schools, where we learned how to be cloyingly happy and sickeningly smiley.

These people refuse to stop smiling.  Even the bloke in the 7-11 opposite the hotel who I bumped into and knocked into the shelf of Fanta and Coke (accidentally.....I was half asleep) turned round with a grunt, stood up and smiled and chuckled!!!  Now in England he'd have looked a right moody little man in his fifties ready to kick-off, but he's Thai, so he smiled and everything was fine again with me apologising like a real tourist and blushing from ear to ear.

Cynics would ascribe this interlude and his smiles to the fact he turned round and saw someone about 2 feet taller and a foot wider than him .....but I think today I will behave like Clark Griswold and simply believe in the goodness of everyone.

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We kept it real last night once we had arrived at the hotel.  The transfer across had been through the Thai treacle of Bangkok's rush hour, so once we'd achieved check-in (so painless) and de-compressed, we kind of deflated.  Between Julia's tiredness with not having slept much in 28 hours and a loooong way to go on the holiday (including 4 days in Bangkok) there was no need to rush into things.  Room service, a couple of episodes of a favourite series on TV and then beddy-byes for us in our cloud-like bed.

Sunrise on the first day was enjoyable at 5.30am.....until I realised it was 5.30am and swore at the indisciminacy of jet lag.  Ho hum.  Stepped onto the balcony and was hit by a wall of humidity that said  "Welcome to South East Asia Saroian - Sweat your way through this!"  Today will be a day of feet finding and unwinding - tomorrow the real adventure starts.

PS - Dear Pedants,

Yes I know, technically the word "indiscriminacy" doesn't exist - but it should and it does now.

Yours,

Not Interested of Bangkok

Languages never cease to amaze me....

No matter how many you speak, no matter how many you've heard - there's always something that scares the heck out of you.

As most of us now acknowledge. knowing a few words and even the odd expression (the odder the better) launches you into the hearts of the people you meet as you travel.  The immediacy of their response is almost child-like at times; and though pride is a sin, (self-flagellation is about to commence), there is nothing like that feeling when you've made a stranger from another culture laugh, smile and accept you, no matter how foreign you are to each other.

This is a great site (link below) that I found whilst researching Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh and the link below is a nice video from the site owner on how to speak simple Vietnamese.  I use the terms simple and Vietnamese together as a perfect example of an oxymoron.........simple Vietnamese just doesn't exist.

So if you can be bothered, have a look and imagine how ridiculous we'll be sounding as we say to the market trader "Hi, how are you? Oh my God that is expensive!"

Vietnamese language lesson for travellers - Part 1 - Rusty Compass travel video

From Packing to Wrapping Up, Goodbyes to "Keep in Touch"

Julia and I are slowly making our way back together again (from Germany and Italy respectively) to wrap up our lives in London.  With luck Julia's train travels will be uneventful and she'll arrive in St. Pancras station on Monday night with no more than a twinge of "heimweh" and a big smile on her beautiful face in anticipation of our travels.

Having spent the last few weeks packing, saying goodbye to our friends and generally stocking up on goodwill and best wishes, we're both ready to shoot off into south-east Asia and pedal our way from Bangkok to Hanoi, via Saigon (or Ho Chi Minh).

It's been great seeing you all - though I say "you all" more in the hope you're reading this than in expectation as it'll probably be a while before our audience gets anywhere near as big as the group of people ready to celebrate our departure :)  An old friend send it best....

"Of course I'm here mate, wouldn't miss it for the world......this is one of the best night's of my life - I've waited for years to say good-bye to you for an extended period of time!"

To all those that came to send us off, thank you very much - it was truly touching (even if you were celebrating!).  To those that couldn't make it, don't worry, I'm arrogant enough to think it's because you couldn't face bawling your eyes out publicly in sadness at our departure.  However truth be told, with the internet as it is, Facebook and Blogs will give us the chance to stay in contact on a semi-regular basis......more so that perhaps you'll be wanting by the time we get into our swing.

Another thing we're hoping for is that this is a conversation not a soliloquy, a dialogue not an autobiography; there are comments boxes on each post and it'll be great to keep in touch here.  If you can join us in person somewhere in the world fantastic.....if not.....pop in here and say hello - you'll always be as welcome here as you were Chez Saroian.

Now let's just hope this bl**dy flight back to Heathrow from Rome isn't delayed again, because apparently the snow isn't getting any better.

The end is nigh and it's only just the beginning

Well I was always told that a journey starts with a single step.  Not so my friend!

A journey actually starts with a hell of a lot of preparation, military planning by a Germanic spouse, lots of injections and visas and general admin and then finally, because you haven't yet had the will to live sucked from your very bones, you get to pack up your belongings and put them into storage.

Joy of joys.  The last week has been simply excellent - sifting through possessions, realising we haven't used a third of what we have and then trying to figure out how the hell we are going to pack them into a box without breaking them!  After all, what's the point of packing something if it's only going to break?  Might as well throw it away now and save yourself the bother of lugging it down those bl**dy stairs!

Anyway, with only a couple of weeks (literally) before we leave, all of this is becoming more bearable (well, just about!)....the end is nigh and it's only just the beginning.

We cannot wait.

Thanks for reading.